Change is hard. It just is. We are always looking for ways to stay on track through the the change process. We all know how helpful it is to have someone to be accountable to for meeting our personal goals, to help us declutter, or just have a pep talk when we need it. What if we don’t have that healthy tribe to help us along though? It makes the journey a lot more difficult, but help is here!
Read on to learn more from our guest blog post by Mindful Dragon!
When I was asked to write a guest post I was elated, excited, and honoured. And then.. fearful, doubtful, and panicked.
How do I force myself to write when I usually write about things that come up naturally, being inspired by whatever is happening in my life at the moment? The topic isn’t planned – it’s just there. This makes for quite a weird method when it comes to trying to actually put pen to paper for a purpose. It’s unsettling and makes me feel like I am not a real writer. You would think the task of writing a blog post would be an easy-peasy job that comes to me like nothing. I mean, I’m a blogger for f**k’s sake.
So, instead of trying to force together a well planned and executed post that ties seamlessly into an explanation of life coaching services, I’ve decided to do what I know – just write. From the heart. Authentic, raw, and bordering too unpolished.
I often hear people talk about how they “need to stop being afraid of XYZ” and sure, I by no means want to dismiss how amazing it would be to be fear-free, but that really isn’t the necessary step here. What you NEED to do is the thing that fear is stopping you from doing.
And in that, you are living your values. You are doing what you want. You are doing what you would do without fear – so who cares that you’re still shaking in your boots?
The road to confidence is paved in doing things that scare the crap out of us. We don’t have to change our level of fear to make it happen, we have to act despite the fear.
The trick is figuring out the answers to, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” and “What is the life you want?” – and then going ahead and doing those things. Acting like you would if you were the most confident person alive. Going after exactly what you want without letting fear hold you back.
Instead of saying “I need to stop being afraid to talk to people” try “I’m going to try talking to people, regardless of how I feel”.
This is not just more accurate of real change- it’s doable. It’s in your control. It’s dropping the rope. It’s packing up those fears into a backpack and taking them along for the journey. It’s acceptance and commitment.
I have made huge strides in my social life, professional life, and personal life – not by learning to get rid of fear – but by doing things anyway. Just last night I presented to a group of students for an online course about being a better friend. I was actively doing things to help build my confidence – like power posing, telling myself “I GOT THIS” and other defusion strategies; however, the fear was still there. I can’t even tell you how panicky I was beforehand, I was even sweating putting together the PowerPoint slides days before! If I was waiting for myself to stop being afraid of things, I would be waiting forever, and not getting anywhere.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the past few years is how much waiting I’ve been doing my whole life. Waiting, not living. Waiting has robbed me of too much time already. It has robbed me of opportunity, joy, and connection – to name a few. It stood in my way of living now.
It blocked me from living a life I was excited about. Waiting was quietly destructive – like a mouse.
And living like a mouse is no way to live. We need to stop waiting. We need to start LIVING.
Like a dragon. Fiercely and authentically.
To dig deep and make it happen -now. Like your life depends on it. Because it does.
What would it mean to live a life you want to live?
If you don’t know the answer to that, you can still start. In fact, that’s how you start.
In the wake of being thrown a childless fate when my identity solely rested on that one dream coming true, I had no sweet clue there was a future that would make carrying on worth it. When I started looking, I wasn’t convinced I would ever find it. I just started. Because that’s what you have to do. Start where you are…even if part of you believes you’re headed down a dead end street. Start anyway.
What part of you is still waiting? How are you still holding back?
If you’re ready to start, start again, or go further – you got this.
And if you’re interested in extra support on your journey, I’m here to help.
Are you a fellow *ACTer? There’s a service just for YOU! From nagging services to help you tackle your SMART goals, to ‘HELP ME THRIVE’ life coaching packages – experience what it’s like to have your very own ACTing Coach. (*Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).
Put yourself in the hands of a healthy tribe member who speaks your language.
Find out more about getting your own ACTing Coach here. (http://thecoachingconnection.ca/life-coaching/acting- coach/)
The Coaching Connection Inc. also offers other life coaching packages, mindfulness coaching, and ‘simplify my life’ coaching… as well as coaching for kids!
Discover your connection at thecoachingconnection.ca.
Fierce love to all!
— Mindful Dragon