by Heather Crosby Gionet
(Information on upcoming Awesome Life Retreat 2.0 below!)
Feedback. You know, that awful noise that comes out of the speaker when the mic is in the wrong place. That’s the good stuff. Let me tell you, you want to learn to LOVE the sound of feedback.
Ok, so maybe not that kind of feedback, I am not sure that anyone loves that sound, and would be really surprised if they did!
However the feedback I am talking about is our body/mind/soul’s similar way of telling us something is not right, that we’re on the right path, or that something needs to change. This kind of feedback is everywhere. It’s how you feel inside, how your body reacts to situations and different stimuli.
You know the saying “trust your gut”? Your “gut” is your feedback, your intuition, the way you just know. The problem is that somewhere along the line someone told us that our gut wasn’t trustworthy, or we thought we were too busy to listen, so we push down those reactions and ignore what we feel inside.
Since I started being open to feedback I realized that it comes ALL THE TIME. I think it kind of drives my husband a little bit nuts because I am not only realizing I feel a certain way but then being curious about WHY, about everything…Like why this pair of socks makes me feel happy or why I physically react to the colour red.
Once you start to be aware of feedback I am sure you will notice the same thing but some questions to get you started:
How do you feel when you put your clothes on in the morning? Do they make you feel comfortable, happy, relaxed? Or do they make you feel like you’re trying to be someone else?
How do you feel when you eat crummy food a few days in a row? Does it make you feel good? Bad? Strong? Weak?
How about before you have to call your mother? Your father? Your husband? Your “best friend”?
When you are leaving for work?
When you watch different TV shows? Does it make you feel anxious even once it’s over (I can no longer watch anything CSI – esque and I used to watch it all the time)
The first step is letting yourself tune into the feedback. Our bodies and and minds react to situations and people and we need to listen! We can live the awesome lives that we truly want if we let ourselves get there.
Six Simple Tips for Feedback
- Make room. Have you seen this bit by Louis CK about cell phones? Though I don’t agree in the forever empty always alone…I DO Agree that we avoid being alone because we don’t always like what comes up. Louis CK isn’t always my cup of tea but he has a point! Turn off the music, the TV, the phone, the busy…whatever it is that you are using as a distraction from yourself. If you don’t know what it might be for you, just trying cutting it all out. Sit in the quiet. It will feel weird at first, but making room is an important step. Once you learn to hear feedback you can sense it in a busy room while doing other things, but often it takes practice to get there!
- Go easy on yourself. Not all feedback feels like sunshine and rainbows smiling down on you. In fact, some of it feels icky (or like a two by four fairy) but those feelings are part of the feedback. But take it for what it is, it’s a response, a feeling, a thought and it doesn’t make you a failure, or a loser, and it doesn’t mean that your entire life is in shambles. Feedback is there to help direct you. You can ignore it or push it down, but I don’t recommend it.
- Make changes, start big or little, whichever works for you, but start somewhere. Try responding to the feedback and doing the things that feel right for you. That make you feel stronger. The more that these decisions are made the more you will feel empowered to keep making the choices you need to.
- Trust your gut reaction, it will tell you more than a multitude of lists. I often flip a coin and do eenie meenie miny mo about a choice….but then I go with my REACTION to the result to determine what I will actually do. (Like in Friends when Pheobe wants to know how Rachel truly feels about having a baby!)
Seriously, when I am getting ready to decide where I want to eat or which way to go home and it’s between two places, I’ll eenie meenie mo it… and then when I go “awww nuts” I realize that is my feedback, it’s telling me that is not what I really want and since “eenie meenie miney mo” is not a binding contract, I go with the other option. Maybe making choices on what to eat is easy for you, but making choices on whether to buy something, whether to take your kids on an outing, or to go on that first date…I’m not at all suggesting you let the flip of a coin decide your future, but your reaction to the coin can tell you a lot about what you truly want.
- Let go of the “shoulds”. Do you ever get a feeling about something, but then override it with a “should”. For example you get invited to a party, you automatically feel a “I don’t want to go” but then you quickly respond in your mind with “well they went to my party so I should go to theirs”. Drop the should and try being curious about the feedback that came up. Do you not want to go because you are feeling anxious but are really working on getting yourself out there? Or do you not want to go because someone may be there who is toxic for you, and in your experience setting boundaries doesn’t work and you end up feeling weaker? You get to explore a lot more of why you feel the way you feel if you stop telling yourself you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way.
- Do something outside of your normal or something that opens you up creatively. Draw, write, colour, sing, cook, paint…. Anything that gets the right brain flowing. This is where your intuition lives, so the more you work this side of your brain, the more likely intuition will feel safe to show up!
So turn down the music, turn off the noise. Let the feedback ROAR.
The Awesome Life Retreat 2.0 is just around the corner.
We have so many amazing things planned but the main goal:
Helping you move towards living the life you love and loving the life you live.
May 5-7, 2017 at Oceanstone Seaside Resort
Learning – Exploring – Relaxing – Creating
Yoga with Melissa owner of Moksha Yoga Bedford and totally awesome individual!
Mindfulness and Life Learning with Jeana from The Coaching Connection/Mindful Dragon
Photos with Melissa from Laleh Images and Heather from This is Photography
Intro to Brush Lettering with Amy from Calligraphy by Amy
Only twelve seats are left so register today!
As a bonus we’re offering Inspired Living friends $50 off registration. Just use the coupon code: inspired when checking out!
Get ready to love the Awesome Life Retreat!