Our experience of life comes down to where we choose to focus our attention.
- I don’t want people to be angry with me
- I don’t want people to be disappointed
- I don’t want any confrontation
- I don’t want to be judged etc….
Or focusing on what OTHER PEOPLE want or expect– (Warning, this may sound disturbingly familiar to some people!)
- My family/ friends expect me to …
- My boss wants me to…
- I should….
Now imagine going through life focusing on what you DO want-
- I want to love my life
- I want to be grateful
- I want to be present
- I want to be engaged with life etc…
Or focusing on what MATTERS and is HEALTHIEST FOR YOU –
- What is the healthiest thing for me to do right now, given this situation?
- If I was living “as if” I am already strong and healthy, what would I do?
- I could….
Does your experience change when you compare the times you focus on what you want vs focusing on what you don’t want?
See for yourself…
- Think of a good thing. It can be real or imagined, like winning the lottery or going on a trip. Rate how excited you are about the good thing, from 1-10. 1 being not really, 10 being super excited.
- Make a list of 5 Good Things about the Good Thing and rate your excitement.
- Think of a bad thing. It can be real or imagined, like loosing our job, or having to cancel a trip due to illness. Rate how upset you are about the bad thing, from 1-10. 1 being not really, 10 being super upset.
- Make a list of 5 Bad Things about the Bad Thing and rate your upset.
- Now make a list of 5 Bad Things about the Good Thing and rate your excitement again.
- And make a list of 5 Good Things about the Bad Thing and rate your upset again.
- Going on a trip with family (Rating of 8)
- Connecting with family; Warmer weather; Sun; Ocean; Time to read (Rating of 10)
- Cancelling the trip due to family illness (Rating of 8)
- Family member ill; Possibly loose all of our money; No other opportunities to go away together for a year; Had been looking forward to this for months; 3 more snow storms supposed to come next week (Rating 10)
- Bad about the Good: it costs a lot of money; will likely get colds after the flights; work will be super busy when we get back; only a couple of days to recover after our return; travelling can be exhausting (Rating 6-7)
- Good about the Bad: family member’s health issues would be addressed; would get lots of little things done around the house; could hide away and just be with family since no one would expect us to be around; could make it a game to come up with fun activities to do around home town; could make a family of snow men during the storms and dress them with tropical hats, sunglasses and a surf board! (Rating 4)
Doing this even in the wee hours of the morning was very helpful in helping me stay calm and present. It allowed me to live my values despite things not turning out as we had planned and honestly, even if we had to stay, it would still be great! In short, this helped me stay out of old brain so I could experience it as FEEDBACK instead of evaluation.
Give this a try and CHOOSE where you put your attention!
Let us know how it goes – drop us an email info@InspiredLivingMedical.com or on twitter @DrAdrianaWilson or @KRyanWilson
“I had to share a laugh with you. When I got up this morning, I saw on linked in that you had posted a new article to your inspired living page. I’m reading it thinking, I had no idea Adriana was in to rugby… then I got to the part where you said how you carried several opponents on your back, and I’m thinking, really? That’s pretty amazing, you seem so petite to me… Only then it occurred to me, hmm maybe Ryan wrote this one?! For the first 200 hundred words I was picturing you playing rugby! Let me tell you it reads totally differently depending on who you imagine wrote the article. 🙂 (not that you couldn’t play rugby- because I’m sure you could if you really wanted to!)
Anyway, I laughed! This is what happens when you read stuff too early in the morning, before I have a coffee!”