People want to get better, but they don’t want to feel uncomfortable or awkward. Distress and discomfort get a bad wrap. We are taught to avoid it at all costs, yet there is no growth without discomfort. The path to wellness requires a willingness to be uncomfortable. There is just no way around it. We don’t have to like it, but we must accept it. Use the Fire Alarm Analogy to change your relationship with distress. Fire Alarm Analogy When a fire alarm goes off, it is invitin

The most common way we harm ourselves is by PRETENDING it isn’t a big deal. We minimize how hurt or angry we are, pretend smoking or drinking just this time won’t make a huge difference, or having that last piece of cake,  and then distract ourselves to keep it all at bay. We use distracting ourselves to help us pretend. It takes the edge off whatever feeling or insight we don’t feel ready to sit with. We distract ourselves by eating, watching NETFLIX, spending hours on socia

This great TED talk focuses on how early life nurturing actually changes the expression of our genes, of our DNA. There are two layers to our genes, the older, harder to change layer, and the epigenetic layer, that is impacted by our life experiences and our choices. This means that who we choose to spend time with, how often we prioritize exercise, how we talk to ourselves and what we choose to focus our thoughts on (scary vs positive) actually changes how our body operates

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Physical abuse is pretty concrete, so it is easier to understand, but emotional abuse has many nuances. Here is an example of emotional abuse. Notice your reaction to this short video (4 min) and if you want to take your insight to the next level, answer the questions below. Take a moment to reflect on what your own template for what “love” and intimate or close relationships looked like and how this may have shaped or influenced the relationships in your own life. Here is an