Any relationship we invest in will bring up mixed feelings. The more we invest, the more vulnerable to hurt and disappointment we become and the more likely anger will come up when people fall short of our expectations and how we think things should be. One common response to these mixed feelings is to try to ignore the “bad feelings” that come up and only focus on the good part. In order to do that, we have to distract and avoid. Unfortunately, we aren’t very good at hiding

We like certainty! We create absolutes out of uncertainty all the time! We turn things that are not definitive at all, like marriage, religion, politics, right and wrong, and we make them into absolutes! We insist that when WE say “I do” it will be forever, even though the divorce rate is over 50%. We have holy wars because we are so certain OUR religious beliefs are the RIGHT ones … the problem, is the other side is equally convinced theirs are too! We talk about what is “ri