Why Gifts Matter
Have you ever given someone a gift and been disappointed by the receivers’ reaction? Or have you received a gift, that may have actually been a nice gift, but you were disappointed because it wasn’t what you wanted?
We often get caught up in the talks about how holidays have become so commercialized and it is all driven by big business. Here are a couple of reasons we keep buying into presents.
We share ourselves in our gifts
Yesterday we had a get-together with a couple of families who we are close with,
When we put effort into our gifts, they become are a reflection of who we are, what we value, and our intention. Gifts become a creative project that is intended to communicate something. This is why how people respond to our gifts matters to us when we have put effort into them. We feel as if WE are being rejected when the receiver doesn’t respond favourably because the gift is one way we put ourselves out there, it is a communication about our authentic self.
2. We help people feel SEEN, HEARD and like they MATTER through our gifts
A friend was recently telling me about a time she received a really nice doll for Christmas as a child, but she got upset because it wasn’t the much cheaper doll she had actually asked for.
Now we could argue that the gift I gave my friends’ families was about me, which it partially was, however these friends tend to like talking about all that sort of stuff and we have played the Ungame all together in the past and really liked it, so I was actually focusing on what they might like as well.
So how do we make gift giving a positive experience for everyone when it doesn’t overlap so well?
BE AWARE, know what kind of gift it is- Is this one more about you or them?
BE FLEXIBLE
If it is about you, recognize you are doing it FOR YOU, so you go into it WANTING a particular response, but not NEEDING it. If it is about you, you don’t need their approval.
If it is about them, and it is a positive response, no problem, it means you had a good read of their wants and hopes. If it is about them and it is NOT a positive response, take it as FEEDBACK and consider asking how you can problem solve for next time to make sure it is a positive gift giving and receiving experience for everyone! You may also consider sharing your intention and why you chose that gift for them, so they understand the intent as having been about them. People are usually very appreciative of that!
In short, it all comes back to we just want to be SEEN, HEARD and feel like we MATTER-
both in giving gifts and receiving them!
Congratulations to Heather from www.encourageinspire.ca, our final Learning for Life recipient of 2015!
Happy Holidays everyone! Also the Awesome Videos of the month will be back soon, this just seemed like an timely post.