The REAL Relationship Questionnaire
We have a relationship, a way of interacting and an opinion about absolutely EVERYTHING that we interact with, not just people. The type of relationship we have with the big things in our lives SHAPE OUR LIVES.
So let’s do a Relationship Questionnaire.…all you have to do is fill in the blanks with the first things that come to mind
1. Things I say to myself most days are ….
2. When I make a mistake, I … (what do you say or do to yourself?)
3. When things don’t go as I expected (but it is not your fault, just out of your control), I … (what do you say or do to yourself?)
4. When I think about my body, the words and feelings that come to mind are…
5. When I think about the ways I spend most of my days, the words and feelings that come up are ….
Now let’s look at our answers.
1. Things I say to myself most days are ….
Whichever it is, do the things you say to yourself most days make you feel stronger or weaker? If weaker, is that a problem for you? What will happen or what might it cost you to keep doing this? What might you gain by changing it? What types of things do you want to be saying to yourself most days?
2. When I make a mistake, I … (what do you say or do to yourself?)
Are the words you use reassuring or encouraging? Or are they unkind, critical, harsh or insulting? Do you engage in kind and soothing behaviors (doing something that recharges you to help regain your strength (ie, exercise or visiting with friends) or do you punish your body by over-eating, drinking, or hurting yourself?
3. When things don’t go as I expected (but it is not your fault, just out of your control), I … (what do you say or do to yourself?)
Are your words reassuring? Do you tell yourself you will figure it out?
Whichever it is, does your current response to things being out of your control make you feel stronger or weaker? If weaker, is that a problem for you? What will happen or what might it cost you to keep doing this? What might you gain by changing it? What do you want your relationship to things being out of your control to be? It is after all a BIG part of life, so having a healthy approach to it seems like it would probably be helpful and could really change the tone of our life.
4. When I think about my body, the words and feelings that come to mind are…
Do I focus on the things that I don’t like and speak critically to myself about them? Or do I focus on the things I am grateful for and genuinely appreciate and enjoy about my body? Even if it is just our fingernails or the length of our hair.
5. When I think about the ways I spend most of my days, the words and feelings that come up are ….
Whether it is about how we spend our days at work and after, or something else, are you left with a positive or negative feeling? Do words like productive, satisfied, meaningful, or love come to mind? Or are they words like hate, bored, mundane, stressful or pointless.
Now go and LIVE! Don’t settle for less. Create a life you
As always, we would love to hear from you here, by email, or on twitter: @kryanwilson or @DrAdrianaWilson.