True/ False?
I am comfortable with feelings True/ False
If you answered True, read on, it will probably validate what you already know and may even teach you something new
If you answered False, read on, it just might change by the end of this post!
Now I only have 2 Questions for you…
Which describes you best?
I don’t ask or change the subject, even when someone is clearly upset
I will talk about other people’s feelings when it can’t be avoided
I initiate conversations about other people’s feelings
Which describes you best?
I distract myself when I feel upset (hurt, angry, sad etc)
(ie. Eating, worrying, staying busy, biting my lip or nails, fidgeting, watching Netflix or going through Facebook & Twitter, working, drinking, having sex, shopping, numbing out, getting mad and having a temper tantrum (yelling, breaking things), etc)
I pause and ruminate about WHY I am upset and all the reasons I should or shouldn’t be, so I can figure it out
I take a moment to validate that I must have a good reason to be upset, make time to focus on the physical experience of it so it passes, and gives me whatever clarity about the situation I may need
Was there a difference between how comfortable you are with other people’s emotions and your own? If so, join the masses! It is usually easier for us to be present with someone else’s emotions rather than our own…if we are comfortable with feelings at all that is.
How comfortable we are with emotions all depends on our Survival Maps (watch the Survival Maps video or go to this link for more blogs about survival maps and filters).
Imagine…
If we grew up in a home where talking about emotions was respected and rewarded, we tend to be more comfortable with it.
It is like walking into a kitchen with familiar appliances, we know how it all works and what to expect.
If we grew up in a home where it wasn’t discussed, we tend to be more uncomfortable with it and we sometimes even think we aren’t supposed to have them at all or they just “get in the way”.
It is like walking into a kitchen filled with appliances that we don’t think we are supposed to have or use and being expected to make it all work.
If we grew up in a home where we only saw volatile, up and down, or destructive emotions, we tend to mimic that, do whatever we can to keep the peace, or avoid our own feelings like that so we don’t do the same
It is like walking into a kitchen filled with appliances that previously burned down our house, and being expected to make it all run smoothly
To learn more about feelings, watch the 5 min All About Feelings
As always, we would love to hear from you! Send us your feedback, leave a comment, post a question or share an idea!
See you next week!