What we strive for in life is always the same, but how we learn to get it is variable and even changes throughout our lifetime. Understand this, and learn what it takes to win at the game of life! Check out our new video here: Share this: Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new

Shalyssa: “How are you?”Me: “OK”Shalyssa: “Why just ok? What’s wrong?” Ok, so here is the thing… in today’s Western world, we are given the message that if we are anything other than “great”, there is something wrong. I spend a lot of time validating and explaining that given people’s circumstances, they are appropriately distressed. For example, if they don’t have financial security, a peer group/ tribe, a sense of purpose or mastery, meaning or creativity and play- it is ex

If you are like most people, emotions and how they work can be confusing sometimes. There may even be times we think we get it, then we somehow loose it. It can be helpful to be reminded of some of the important bits about emotions and why it is important to connect with them in new ways, and this video does just that. This is a great 7 min animated video about emotions- worth the watch.  Enjoy! Share this: Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Tw

Before I even open my eyes I am aware of the warmth of my blankets and the sweet bundle of fur pressed against the back of my legs. I breathe in; the silence is comforting. I pry my fur baby from his chosen spot to mine and nestle in for some morning snuggles, enjoying his familiar scent as I rest my cheek on top of his head. I savour these moments, these good feelings, mindful of a time when at first breath it was trepidation, rather than contentment that filled my lungs. Si

by Heather Crosby Gionet (Information on upcoming Awesome Life Retreat 2.0 below!) Feedback. You know, that awful noise that comes out of the speaker when the mic is in the wrong place. That’s the good stuff. Let me tell you, you want to learn to LOVE the sound of feedback. Ok, so maybe not that kind of feedback, I am not sure that anyone loves that sound, and would be really surprised if they did! However the feedback I am talking about is our body/mind/soul’s similar way of

Carol Dweck introduced a concept called the Growth Mindset, a way of thinking, and talking to ourselves and others that promotes healthy and more positive outcomes. You might assume it is complicated, but it isn’t, something as adding yet to the end of something you can’t YET do, changes what parts of our brains stay engaged and which don’t. I am pretty sure we can all at least try something so simple, but in case you need more convincing, watch her 15 min talk about the Powe

Remember that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome. After all, we can’t use the same thinking that got us into a problem to get us out of it. This is a great talk about Willingness. Willingness to face our struggles. It is set in the context of PTSD and the military, but it extends to all of us. So ask yourself, how much do you WANT to be well? Are you WILLING to face the difficult thoughts, emotions,  sensations or m

There is a lot going on in the world right now and lots of people are getting caught up in various media reports and because we fuse and invest in the thoughts and emotional tone of what we are exposed to, this impacts our psychological and emotional state. So is the world good or bad? We want to know! Many people these days are pretty sure it is not great and they may even have a lot of valid arguments. Take this 15 min video for example. Although it presents some more extre

Wherever it is you live, take the opportunity to explore and love it this holiday season! Here is some of what there is to love where we live in Halifax NS! Think of exploring your town as a tourist, be curious, have fun, adventure and find hidden gems right where you are. Share this: Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window

3 Simple Life Hacks to Living Your Values 1.Start before you feel like it 2.Watch your language 3.Don’t find time, MAKE time Start before you feel like it! Most of us wait until we feel like doing something BEFORE we do it. This is a problem. If we wait to do the things that will make us feel better until we are already feeling better, we won’t feel better at all!  Susan Jeffers wrote a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, based almost entirely on this principal! 2. We

Think of a time you felt connected to someone, you had that “they totally get me” moment…even just remembering that is often enough to trigger the relaxation response again. Now think of a time you were around someone you didn’t trust, someone who was unpredictable or who has been dismissive or disrespectful in the past. If you are like most people, your body tenses up and you get a bit agitated just at the thought of them. If even just the memory of being around certain peop

These questions come from just about everyone when we first meet, but especially when they haven’t had any “major  traumas” in their lives. It is as if they feel they don’t even deserve to be upset. They get even more upset, because they aren’t supposed to be. People will tell me about how their parents did their best and tried to motivate them and gave them opportunities, so what is their problem? Let’s look at the sneaky ways survival maps are created through this 15 min vi

Check out this 1 min video before you read on… (NOTE: it won’t be as effective if you skip ahead first) Have you noticed how often you are right about people? Some of that is because we are great at reading people, but sometimes it is also because the filter we have about others makes us NOTICE and INTERNALIZE all the times our beliefs are true and IGNORE and DISMISS all the times they are not. Just like in the video. This is part of why prejudices, stereotypes, racism and se

I don’t know why, but virtually everyone I see in therapy has a story they tell themselves that is some version of the following: “Of course, I know what my emotions are and of course, I am aware of how I manage my conflicting emotions towards others. It’s simple!” As I re-read that passage, I think a more accurate statement is that I’m pretty sure everyone I know has some version of that story floating around in their head (yours truly included). Things seem “simple” – if yo

You decide… I was working with a young woman in her 40’s a while ago, Samantha. She was conceived around the time her mother had an affair. Samatha was found to be her biological father’s on paternity testing, but her conception and birth were surrounded by marital problems and strain in the family. Her parents decided to work things out, and were largely emotionally unavailable over the many years it took to do so. Pam, her older sister, who was about 4 yo at the time, blame

Imagine you come home to a beautifully wrapped gift on your table. If it is your birthday, and you live with someone – you may feel excited If it is your birthday, but no one else had a key to your apartment – you may feel concerned If it is your anniversary –  you may be angry with yourself for forgetting Context shapes our expectations, and our expectations shape our emotions. I will let you in on a secret…the media lies to us. Even our own parents lie to us. And THEIR lies

Have you ever heard “Do as I say, not as I do.” Well, as a parent and as a professional I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t work! And, it is important. “Son, for the thousandth time, please put your dishes in the dishwasher and NOT on the counter! Did you even look to see if the dishwasher was full or not??” “Sorry, Dad,” my son said rather furtively, and he quickly got up and dealt with the offending cutlery, cup, and dishes. Does this situation sound remotely familiar to any

I am comfortable with feelings                 True/ False If you answered True, read on, it will probably validate what you already know and may even teach you something new If you answered False, read on, it just might change by the end of this post! Now I only have 2 Questions for you… Which describes you best? I don’t ask or change the subject, even when someone is clearly upset I will talk about other people’s feelings when it can’t be avoided I initiate conversations ab